Ladies' Night

Will Oldham, guest programmer @ Cinefamily L.A. January 7, 2010.

Congratulations, it's a....

Walking down the hallway on my second weekend as an OB nurse I hear another, significantly more seasoned nurse laughing so hard that she's holding her knees.

"And so," she says between breaths, "apparently these parents had decided to describe childbirth to their little guy, who was about three, in a very concrete way... they were very educated, you know? Anyway, when the dad bent down with the baby, this little guy peered inside the blanket and you should have seen his face wrinkle all up...he literally screamed: 'But you told me it was a puppy!' The parents were horrified but I couldn't help it... I laughed and laughed! I guess they learned their lesson.

It's like I say," she quipped, "you should always follow one simple rule: Never compare humans to food or animals. Someone always ends up disappointed."

Storklike

I work in labor and delivery now. Isn't that amazing? No, it's not a paid position. We're in the middle of a recession, so I'm told. But I am now actually a nurse and on the job every Saturday and Sunday. So far, I have been witness to a number of squinty little eyes blinking wildly at the new world. More on that soon, but I thought, for the time being, you might like to know.

Waking the Dead

We watched The Howling night before last. Having seen it at the way-too-early age of about eight with my older brother I remembered being scared to death, so during one particular scene where his breathing was becoming labored and his feet were inching closer and closer to me, I asked The Kid, "Is this okay?" "Yesfineitsfine" was his reply, eyes glued intently to the screen.

Yesterday I asked him about the movie again, this time in relationship to the Italian zombie movies for which he has absolutely no tolerance. "It was fine. The scariest part was the fully naked woman and whatever they were doing by the fire."
"Yes, but what about the werewolves? When they changed, that was pretty scary, right?"
"No. Not really. It was cool the way they pulsated."
"But zombies are still too scary?"
"Mom, don't you know that the undead is a lot more scary? The undead are real. Werewolves are just fantasy." And with that, he swiftly moved on to asking to see An American Werewolf in London.
To think that I was once somewhat proficient in the folklore of demonology. Not anymore, apparently.

Variety of the Human Sort

On a couple of gifts received this holiday season...

The first is a newish memoir-stroke-expose which pretty much violates every IRB and HIPAA regulation known to medicine -- not to mention some sort of personal honor code one should have to adopt in order to become a physician. Anyway... written by a attending psychiatrist at the (in)famous Bellevue Hospital, the oldest public hospital in the US, Weekends at Bellevue is perhaps the worst book ever written on severe mental illness and the role of the provider. Not to hyperbolize, but any doc who refers to her patients as "crazy" (she's a psychiatrist for chrissake), who writes about her propensity for literally sniffing out male pheromones, intern sex (ew), how her ass looks in scrubs and, let's be honest, has a lot of unexamined contempt for the mentally ill, gets her book tossed swiftly in the trash. Sorry, Santa.

But, never fear. There is also the now-quite-ancient and excellent book entitled Mutants: On the Form, Varieties and Errors of the Human Body (2004) written by the intriguing and somewhat controversial Armand Marie Leroi, an evolutionary developmental biologist and lecturer at Imperial College London. This history and popular-science sampler is humane and insightful, taking on difficult questions of genetic variation and social interpretation. "Injustice creeps in through the cracks of our ignorance... It is to finally close off those cracks" that we should be looking at human variety. He is speaking about genetics, of course, but mayn't this well be applied to other work, needing not to be resurrected here? I think so.