Per Sempre

Without impatience I'll dream.
I'll bend to the task
That can never end,
And little by little at the tips
Of reborn arms
Succoring hands will reopen,
The eyes reappeared
In their sockets will give light again
And suddenly in tact,
You'll have resurrected, your voice
Will be my guide again,
I'm seeing you again forever.

~Giuseppe Ungaretti

The Trick of Humanity

I spent the first day of pediatric clinicals in the intensive care unit. My patient was very young, under one year, born with congenital anomalies that included a heart defect, this one specifically, choledochal cysts and biliary atresia, meaning that she needed both open heart surgery and a liver transplant. She received both, preceded by a miriad of other surgies. When I cared for her, she was nine days post-op. I counted eight IV lines going into her body, exclusive of her pacer wires, NG tube, Jackson-Pratt drain, CPAP and ventilator.

I didn't mind the PICU so much as I expected. In fact, pediatrics seems like a place I would be excited to work, a great surprise to me. Maybe it's the timing. The most significant obstacle would be coming to terms with advanced technology out-sizing the patient. Following yesterday's rotation I felt like this was a huge moral dilemma, so I sought out reserach on the subject and found an interesting article that takes on the distress that PICU nurses face in the wake of modern technology that outpaces moral questions about life at any cost. The authors ask how medical and "life-saving technologies are outstripping our human abilities to comprehend and live with the consequences". Certainly a very worthy ethical question and definitley one that represents what I find the most difficult aspect of peds: what it means to be humane. To me, it looks like humanity tricking us again.

A Home in the World

"I can't consider any of that time as time away, because you don't want to spend half of your life being away or where you shouldn't be. I choose to think of all the time as being present. I'm always home."