Sick

I watched this documentary about Bob Flanagan about ten years ago, but The Partner had never seen it, so this afternoon we headed out and got our hands on a copy from Le Video. The whole experience of the film, for me, has been totally recontexualized. What's different now than then? I now believe it should be requisite viewing for all nursing students. Not into S&M? Can't really deal with someone driving a nail through his penis? Tough. Sit through this movie if you want to know what it is like to have a chronic illness and if you want to know what it's like to die. As a nurse or future nurse, it's important. Allied with some of Flanagan's pain journals, it can really provide a window. We just have to be willing to peer through it.

As for my mom, who I think reads this blog from time to time, you definitely don't need to see it.

Indachshunation

On the lookout for a new dog. We have suffered through months of trying to find just the right kind, size, demeanor, temperament -- one that The Kid will quickly warm up to. Guess what it's gonna be? "Another Dachshund huh? Well, you guys have kind of embraced being wiener dog owners, and I'm sure you still have a cookie cutter that is a wiener."

So, if you hear of any dachshunds for sale. Let me know.

That's Sammy, above with The Kid, circa 2003, Western Addition, SF.
~Comment provided by my comedic and lovable little sister.

You're a MEPN? Be a DIVA!

Still suffering from the group-think exercise known as indoctrination to the medical model of cultural competence, I was interested to see a former colleague from my doctoral days featured in this article*. It's about UCSF's DIVA program. Who knew this program even existed? Certainly not I, and I've been with this institution since I was barely out of my teens. Well, not only does it exist, but it's headed by the socio-cultural issues in health care instructor, as well as the much respected Howard Pinderhughes. I have some reservations about the article, even though I understand what its trying to do. My sense is that the way to the heart of this problem is not through the individual and his/her experience, as the informal "research" that the program is based upon suggests. It is, in fact, where the whole issue tends to fall apart. But, we can't do much about that, so, for the time being, MEPNs should pay attention to the article and hopefully, one of you will get involved with the DIVAs. They need some students to contribute his/her real-world experience (outside of nursing and outside of anthropology/sociology) and to give allied feedback about our clinical and classroom experience. It's worth it. Even if you have to belong to a group with the world's stupidest name.

*The publication is not yet available online; I will provide a link when it becomes avialable. If you're affiliated with the university, you should have recevied Science of Caring Volume 20, 2 in the mail last week. Check out the article entitled Seeking Diversity Deeper Than Numbers, pp 11.

My Honey Bear

The Kid told me recently that he thinks he's going to be reincarnated as a kinkajou. Not to worry, says he, "you'll be the mama kinkajou. That's how reincarnation works."

Beware

That's right... another Bonnie Prince Billy album is due to be released March 2009. Guests include Leroy Bach, Jim Becker, Jon Langford, Greg Leisez, Rob Mazurek, Nicole Mitchell and Azita Youssefi.

That news pretty much made my day.

Is it the Sea is a live album that was released in September, way more worthwhile than the "more accessible, less academic", Lie Down in the Light. I haven't officially reviewed it, basically because I was wildly disappointed.

Oh well, here's to a new album/ new year.

Translation of My Life

I remember the past.
Before there were poems.
I was eight. The world
simple as a primer.
I lived in a small town
far from the ocean.
Home, then school,
then home again,
back and forth
on my blue bicycle...
There are photographs,
yellow and crumbling,
to prove what I say.

...Understand, I was only a girl
living the days as they came.
I did not know then I would leave.
Though I had a secret
I did not tell and will not ever,
I did not know I would leave.

By Elizabeth Spires
abridged

Iraq in Fragments

If you see one independent film this year, this should be it.
The three part documentary by Seattle's James Longley is clearly made by a filmmaker with a story to tell. Forgoing the role of the "neutral" participant observer, always a moral dilemma, Longley makes no bones about his intention to convey a very clear point-of-view. Whatever your perspective on that approach, it makes for a pretty powerful movie.

From Salon.com's Andrew O'Hehir: "Alone among the works I've seen and read about Iraq in the last three years, Iraq in Fragments captures the tremendous complexity and variability of the country, offering neither facile hope nor fashionable despair. It offers no prescriptions, and the ideology you bring to the film may well determine what you see in it. If it has a lesson for Americans, it might be: We bloodied our hands in this place. Before we try to wash them off and walk away, we owe these people the respect of seeing them as they are."

Naked Clown Calendar

Speaking of clowns... this, I hate to say, was a terribly bad idea, even if it is for a really good cause.
Buy the calendar if you're really into that kind of thing... or for someone you dislike... or if you just want to instill some deep coulrophobia in an ex-friend or lover. Actually, please support the Judy Finelli Fund. Just burn the calendar after - or use it for a gag gift or something.

*What ever happened to the clowns of yore?

Stop Clowning Around!

Did you see this article in the New York Times about the clowns teaching nursing students about bedside manner? Really. The idea and article both would have been worthwhile had the journalist not decided to refer to all nurses as "women" and had it not insisted that nurses need to figure out that their job is about more than "bedpans and blood samples". Thanks. Nothing like a few stereotypes to ruin a good idea. Another opportunity for nursing and circus to come together, wasted.

*On a more uplifting note, I hear from Nurse Z. that Nurse K. is a natural on the flying trapeze, so maybe there are more chances for the nursing-circus union yet to come!

Bubo Virginianus

Yesterday, Tennessee Valley, dusk: great horned owl. Awesome.

Citizen Cyborg

I was unexpectedly wrangled by the last few days of classes. The socio-cultural class knocked the wind out of my sail and I'm in some sort of recovery period (a.k.a. funk). Anyway, I forgot to mention this nice, brief interview with Donna Haraway that appeared in The New Scientist. Although she's talking about her favorite new-ish subject, the companion species, I think it relates nicely to the fore mentioned conundrum that continues to wrench my gut.
Eh. Enjoy.

"It's a deep pleasure being one among many living and dying creatures, and to understand that walking away from human exceptionalism is as much a relief from carrying on a kind of impossible fantasy as it is a burden to take on."

School Daze

Last night The Partner was helping The Kid fill out an application for an after school activity. They were discussing the gradation system at The Kid's school because, in good Berkeley hippy fashion, the school has "integrated groups" in lieu of "grades" -- always a real confusion for children when someone asks "So what grade are you in this year?"

"So you're in the upper group.. what grade do you think that is?"
"Well, it would be the 4th grade in a normal school, but my school is not normal."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, I wouldn't call it a school really... it's more like a Peace Sanctuary."

Will Says

"The first song that I remember dealing with death in a pretty direct way was "Ebony Eyes". When I was four or five, I listened to the Everly Brothers over and over again, acting out all the songs with the little plastic figurines I got for my birthday, and that was the last song on the record. I could tell that it was a sad song, but I didn't have any idea how sad. It's still something that I value a lot; music that gets in there. If I'm wondering about death and scared about life, then to find some song that addresses it is like, 'Well, if you feel that way the best thing might be to either obliterate consciousness, or to destroy yourself completely....' That's not the kind of music that I like to listen to. But if someone deals with the end of conscious existence in such a way that they're not just trying to ruin your day with it, then it can be pretty great."

Lions & Bobcats & Lynx

Oh my!
We've been hiking the Tennessee Valley at night in the hope of catching sight of the elusive bobcat that we were lucky enough to spy last year. The crypto black leopard sightings got me thinking that, hey, not everyone knows the difference. Here are a few photos to differentiate. The photograph of the Canadian lynx is a flickr image by David Cartier.

The bobcat picture is actually from Tennessee Valley.











The mountain lions are from the November 7th Daily Interlake, the local newspaper in Kalispell, MT. Apparently there is a bit of a familiar stand-off between the mountain lions and the ranchers (hungry lions eat ponies, the occasional small dog, goats) and so the long arm of the law, aka the 30-30 Winchester, has been at work.

I Am Become Death

The number of nuclear warheads in the US, according to a 2002 report from the Natural Resources Defense Council, Nuclear Weapons Databook Project is 10,600 (7,982 deployed, 2,700 hedge/contingency stockpile). The amount of plutonium still in those weapons is 43 metric tons.

Watch The Day After Trinity and Kuroi Ame and then ask yourself why.

"I remember the line from the Hindu text, The Bhagavad Gita: Now, I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."
- Robert Oppenheimer, The Day After Trinity

Cryptozoology: Bay Area Black Panther

As of late hikers around these parts claim to be seeing a black mountain lion wandering around hills and trails. So reports Berkeley resident, L.S.:

"I was curious about EBMUD's protected watershed off Redwood Road in Castro Valley, so I obtained a permit and checked it out . . . I decided to navigate into the gully, walked maybe 30 or 40 feet to the east and suddenly found myself locked eyes with this big black cat. It was roughly 50 feet from me, through several barriers of logs and overgrowth. The first thought is that it looked like a panther, but the weird thing is that sort of animal should be in Africa, not the East Bay. It was so out of place."

What to make of that? This is why I love cryptozoology, because of the relationship to urban legends where the formulation thereof can so easily be tied to other things going on in the world that are freaking people out. Ever see the Legend of Boggy Creek? Check it out and keep in mind the locale and historical relationship to the civil rights movement.

The skinny from our friends at Cryptomundo is that the black bobcat tale is persistent, particularly in the south. They also provide us with the black lynx crypto quote of the day:
"If you see a big black critter in the woods, it’s probably a Labrador retriever - or maybe a wild hog."

*The photograph is of a black jaguarundi, found in Mexico, Central and South America.

Election Night Recap, Courtesy of The Kid

The Kid's take on election night, part of a weekly homework assignment:

On Election Day I went to school and then after school I went to a poll. Then I went home, got a football and played some football and then at dinner I was watching the election off the computer. And then we were watching the state of red and blue and the blue basically took over the country so I was like, “Obama really won?” in my head. And then my parents told me that it was starting and I was like, “What’s starting?” and they told me that it was the concession speech. And in the concession speech I saw McCain talking and saying that Obama would be a good President to us and then Obama came out on stage and gave a speech and at the beginning of that speech he said that they were bringing a puppy to the Whitehouse. That’s the thing I’ll probably always remember.

I saw a bunch of people crying and cheering. And me and my family were very happy. And then when I went to bed I heard fireworks. And then when I woke up and I was driving to school the next day I heard the front page of the New York Times (we have a subscription to the New York Times) was worth $140.00!

What does Obama need to work on?

1. The economy: It’s not making any money.
2. Manufacturing: We need more jobs.
3. Prop 8: There should be gay marriage.
4. Warfare: They need to stop the war in Iraq.
5. Racism: We have a new race of President but that might change things up a bit.

Who can help Obama?

1. Galen: Because he’s a smart kid.
2. Biden: Because he’s a politician.
3. Weird Al: Because he knows a lot of stuff.
4. Brian Jacques: Because he knows how to stop warfare.
5. Xiao Hong: Because he can get through about anything.

Walking the Cervix

So, have you heard of the posterior cervix that needed a walk...Alright, seriously.
Friday, Dr. M. had to do a pelvic exam on our L&D patient, 2 weeks post dates, to determine whether the cervidil was working to ripen her cervix. The problem? He couldn't find it.
So here we sit, mom with Dr. M's fingers inside, he, looking off in the distance, strangely, like he had been taken over by some alien mind control. After minute three, I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable and start burning holes in the side of his head with my gaze.
"So", says nurse J., also bedside, "feeling anything there Dr. M.?"
"Well, it's a 2... no a 3... maybe a 2," still hypnotized.
Nurse J. waits for maybe another 2 minutes, "So it's a 2/3??"
He withdraws. Talks nervously and red-faced about the amazing disappearing cervix.
The fact is, at this point, how accurate do we need to be?
And hasn't Dr. M. heard of walking the cervix, wherein when a cervix is remarkably far back (especially an issue for a first time mom) one can find the edge of cervix, placing one's finger inside and gently move it forward?
Seems better than mining for it.

Share and Share Alike

"Wouldn't it be neat if when we had a baby we got twins?" asks The Kid.
"Yep, that would be neat."
"Yeah, and when they grow up they could try out each others' boyfriends or girlfriends."

??

Chamois Pants

An expectant mom called L&D this week wanting to know whether or not to come in for admission:

"I think my water has broken."
"What makes you think so?" asks the admitting nurse.
"There was wetness between my legs."
"How much."
"I don't know how much."
"Was it more or less than a teaspoon?"
"What kind of teaspoon?"
"A standard teaspoon."
"Well, all teaspoons are different."
"Um....what?"
"All teaspoons are different!"
"...O---kay. Were your pants wet?"
"Well, I was wearing these special pants."
"Special pants?"
"They're a special material. They're made of a kind of wicking material."
"A wicking material? So are you saying they were or were not wet?"
"I'm saying I don't know because the material wicks away moisture."
Another nurse turns to me an says: "Chamois pants?"