But Always a Woman

Don't look at the #justanurse hashtag.  Don't do it.

Okay, so you did it.  Regrettably, so did I.  And yes, I watched both the Kelley Johnson monologue as well as the play-by-play commentary on The View.  Proud to say a couple of firsts - both for the talk show and the pageant.

So, anyway,  let's have a conversation here, nurses, because the reactions to this thoughtless and, yes, purely sexist response are, for the most part, not helping matters.
For example:



Here are some of the above reactions (those which aren't shameless selfies) in words:

"Nurses be like, that bitch said what?"
"One does not simply insult a nurse and get away with it"
Man in drag cocking handgun: "Nurses be like.. say Dr's stethoscope again"
"I'm more than smart enough to be a doctor but I choose to be a nurse." 

And, finally, while there is so much more to make your heart heavy,  please tell me what healthcare provider - what nurse -  took this photograph, in a medical setting, and deemed it appropriate (an not a humongous HIPAA violation, not to mention seriously ethically repugnant) to post to social media - specifically, for the sake of some inane argument about whether or not nurses use stethoscopes. Wildly, wildly inappropriate and - along with the other examples above - some of the likely reasons nurses are disrespected in the media and, more troubling, in the workplace.

So, what's the problem here?  I'm not even going go to the trouble of mentioning that this started with the Miss America Pageant.  Because didn't we protest this outdated and, frankly hilariously ugly step-sister to real life sexual politics, in like 1969?  And we are talking about  - and defending it as a legitimate forum for professional women - why?

But this being CircusNurse, let's talk for just a minute or two about nursing.  And let's talk about how is it that you would like your profession to be represented.  As better than doctors?  As charity? As a profession of martyrs?  As tough?  As kind?  As a profession of women with a few nice men thrown in for good measure? (These are by no means my ideas; they have been repeated in spades over the past two days.)

First of all, let's stop with the feigned machismo.  Nursing is a profession, meaning that we are supposed to be professional.  This does not mean wearing tee-shirts exalting how we are here to "save your ass, not kiss it" or proclaiming that one should "Be kind to nurses. We keep doctors from accidentally killing you."  This nonsense needs to stop.  Particularly if we want to be taken seriously in the field of medicine.

Secondly, nurses are not doctors.  And our general education and ability to accept the fates and circumstances of other people  - without exerting power - is quite poor, or at least suspect, much of the time.  But I discuss that, at length, here.

Finally, nursing is not about being a saint.  It is not about charity.  My husband and I were just having this conversation last night: once something is deemed charitable, it becomes an inherent exercise of power. Nursing, at its very best, and, frankly, at its very worst, should be about bearing witness.  It is not our place as nurses to co-opt another person's experience, but to be a testament to it.  As healthcare providers, we, hopefully, extend our kindest and strongest professional hands and minds to guide patients though difficult times.  And we witness the joys and sorrows therein.  But we should never mistake this experience for our own.  Many nurses will disagree with me here.

I think there is a really difficult truth attached to the identity of nurses that was illustrated by the monologue which generated this whole debate: once caregiving becomes an interpersonal exercise and identity, we abandon the professional role and we can no longer fairly provide our patients with appropriate guidance.  Many nurses pride themselves in the feelings of nursing, the feeling of being a nurse -  but feelings become a very slippery slope when they can't be separated from one's identity and politics.  We have to stop and ask ourselves, what is behind casting ourselves in a specific light? What is hidden beneath our self-proclaimed altruism?  I have never heard a person who truly provides care for and is compassionate toward other people discuss that care in a self referential manner: that is what makes it selfless. Being a nurse should never be about what one is - or what one is not - in relationship to our patients.

This "just a nurse" rhetoric - which has been around for years and is not actually a clever creation of Ms. Johnson - is a detractor and a way to prioritize the experience of the caregiver over that of the patient.  Listen to that monologue again with this in mind and tell me if is is about the experience of the Alzheimer's patient in this nurse's care or the nurse and her identity.  Now listen to it yet again and convince me that her retelling of the story in that particular forum is not about her politics. Finally, sit back and think about it for a few minutes and offer to me any part of her story that feels like it serves the patient and his family in any meaningful way.    

But, I digress.  Back to square one.

This is all actually about the image of the nurse in American society, right? No.  It really isn't.  Even though I've stood so tall on my soapbox for these many paragraphs, I take my thesis back.  It is actually about the role and the image of women in our society.  And, as usual, we are called out in a sexualized and objectifying forum as not being woman enough.  And we are, yet again, called out... by other women.

Hasn't anyone else grown tired of this yet?