Goodbye, Sweet Friend

Sprout Wings and Fly

"'They tell me you're master of the old time fiddle'. I said, 'Now, mister, they ain't nobody mastered the fiddle. Ther's notes in that fiddle ain't nobody found.' I said, 'Ther's music in that thing that'll be there when Gabriel toots his horn.'"



You can watch Sprout Wings and Fly along with a documentary featuring Tommy Jarrell's sister entitled Julie: Old Time Tales of the Blue Ridge.
Here's a preview.

Mufinn Mann

While I was on the telephone with my mom, I received this note from The Kid.

Tat-B-Gone

Today's assignment: tattoo removal clinic. The process is not as magical as it sounds: it's not painless and it doesn't exactly "remove" the tattoo. In fact, immediately after treatment, the outline of the tattoo actually becomes edematous and is thus more prominent and reddened. The surrounding skin becomes inflamed, apparently with the sensation of having been burned. Eventually, after several treatments, the tattoo fades - sometimes completely. Other times, there is a shadow, scar, hypo or hyper pigmentation. One guy who was having treatment on six (6!) tats revealed where another of his tattoos had been, and there was no sign. So, it works, depending on a person's skin integrity, the quality of the tattoo (do-it-yourself = yikes!) and the immune system. The way it works is that a laser sends short impulses of light into the epidermis; the light is absorbed and breaks the pigment from the ink in the tattoo into smaller particles that can be removed by the immune system. Varying wavelengths are used in order to deliver the best possible ink removal.

Basically, it's a great service. It serves a lot of former gang members and a lot of guys who took penknives and fountain pens to themselves in juvie. The docs take off a lot of neck and face tattoos. (Ouch!) I should mention that I was even allowed to be zapped for three seconds, just to have the true anthropological participant-observer moment. I went "cold" (no lidocaine) and the laser was, of course, set much lower than for the tattoo removal. Also, not having the ink in my skin prevented the pain that ensues from the ink's dissipation into the skin and the macrophagic action. When I was zapped by the laser myself, it was like being burned by spattered, hot cooking oil. The difference for me than for those having their tattoos removed? I had no relationship to the freckle being removed from my arm, while these kids have a whole lifetime of experience related to the tattoos that they wear. Tattoos, traditionally a symbol of belonging and the renunciation of the self to the group, are symbolic to the wearers in more ways than I could possibly understand. The choice to have the tattoos removed demonstrates a degree of humility that is above and beyond my comprehension. Having a tattoo removed is more about loss than about renewal. It took some serious strength for those kids to be there.

Unnatural Childbirth

On my way out of the hospital on Friday I stepped into the elevator with a woman, maybe twenty-five years old, she was holding a manila envelope to her chest and weeping. She turned to me and said “It feels like tugging…” I asked, “What does?” She replied “That tugging here” and touched her breasts. “They feel heavy like they do when I feed her…my baby.” I said, “Yeah, that’s totally normal.” She sobbed and said, “No, you don’t understand. CPS took her away. They told me she’d be here today and I just got out and came for her, but they took her away already.” They lied.

I told her, “It will work out for you, and for her, in the end.”

I guess I lied, too.

and I will align myself with nothing...

I had been struggling with my clinical specialty until my community health clinical instructor who was been a L&D nurse for 10 years said to me, "I don't see the predicament. Sometimes, you can't tell the difference between a birth and a death. I've been at plenty of births where I was like 'was that a death?' and plenty of deaths where I was like 'was that a birth?'"

Drawing by Karlynn Jayne Holland.

...and I will enjoin my heart with no-one's
cause I was untried
when I was applied the light of birth.
- "Patience" Royal Stable Music 1997

I Keep My Horse At Stable Will's

After missing Bonnie Billy in Big Sur last weekend, we got a free shot today at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival. We also ran up on him quite unexpectedly on our way out. Come to find out he's an artist in residence at the Headlands Center for the Arts. This means a chance to recompense for the lost concert. Anyway, thanks to Will for fulfilling expectations and being something quite other than a typical musician/ performer. Thanks for walking a different line.